When feeling emotionally overwhelmed, it can be helpful to have tools to distract until your body is calm again.
Emotional dysregulation is when your emotions feel overwhelming to the point of presenting physical symptoms or causing dysfunction in some areas of life.
Often we do not think clearly when we have internal chaos, so if we are able to prepare ourselves with tools ahead of time we are more likely to use them when we need them.
Sometimes distraction seems like an "unhealthy" approach, or it may seem counter-intuitive. The reason for this is because yes, eventually when you feel safe enough it is ideal to feel the emotion fully and see that you can survive it. HOWEVER, sometimes feelings are overwhelming, and we are not able to handle them yet. We may not feel safe in our bodies, or trust ourselves yet, so the most kind thing you can do for yourself is to distract yourself until you are calm again. Using the acronym ACCEPTS hopefully will be a helpful tool to remember some ways to accept that you need to distract when you have nowhere else to turn.
A - Activities
Any activity can be a distraction, my recommendation is to make a list of activities ahead of time so that, again, you are not having to try to use your neocortex while it is offline. Some
examples of distracting activities are:
watering plants
cooking
cleaning
knitting
playing a game
calling a friend
bike ride
watching a show
playing a video game
What? even having screen time? yes, as long as it is a limited time. The distraction is only meant to help calm and soothe your body, once you physically regulated you can return to your regular tasks.
C - Contributing
Doing things for others! It is amazing how many happy brain chemicals are stimulated when we help others and making them smile.
"Kindness towards others creates kindness for ourselves"
C - Comparison
This one can be tricky, so it really is only effective if it happens naturally in a healthy way. If you find yourself thinking of a time that you have had it worse, and you are able to see how far you have come even though you are struggling now, the recognition of that non-linear progress can distract.
You can see how this is to be used gently and with caution, because the goal is not to shame yourself more or to spiral you further, but to help you recognize the progress you have made.
E - Emotion Switching
Use music, TV, or movies that are the opposite mood you are in to distract you.
It can be easy to want to wallow and listen to music that fits your mood, however, music and media can be really helpful in switching the script to distract you.
Next time you are feeling sad, try listening to a happy, upbeat song.
P - Push away
Push the situation out of your mind temporarily until you are ready to face it again. Build a wall in your mind between you and the stressor.
Another way to do this is the containment exercise. Find a comfortable position, soften your gaze or close your eyes. Imagine a container that can hold the problem, this container can look like whatever you need it to be. Let your mind wander to find the right container for the job. Whichever one you choose, I suggest choosing one that you can imagine hearing it close. It could be a mason jar, a wooden box, a big antique chest, a safe, or a lock box. Again let your mind guide you.
Now imagine putting the problem, thoughts, or stressor into your container, and then close the lid, and lock it (if applicable). Next find a place to put your container, will you put it on the top shelf in the basement, or up in the attic, or buried in the sand? Choose somewhere safe, and out of sight so that you won't be tempted to open it. Finally, when you are finding your mind wandering back to the stressor, remind yourself of your container, maybe go through this process again, or simply say "I've put that away for now."
T - Thought Switching
Activate your logical, reasonable "left side" of your brain. Read, do Sudoku, Crossword puzzles, count (I imagine this is where counting sheep came from?), or write a story.
Accessing another part of our brain allows us to move off of our emotions until our body is able to relax, and our mind stop racing. Ever why Wordle has been such a hit during the pandemic? Well, maybe this could be a factor.
S - Sensations
Distract by stimulating your senses with something intense. Examples could be:
Holding an ice cube in your hand
eat spicy food
listen to loud music
cold shower
hot foot bath
ACCEPTS is meant to be a crisis survival strategy when feeling overwhelmed by emotion based on a Dialectical Behavior Therapy tool. They all are meant to be used in moderation, and hopefully will provide suggestions for the next time you are feeling overwhelmed.
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