For everyone who experiences stress, anxiety, or any sort of dysregulation it can be helpful to have a list of tools to soothe yourself.
Often we think of emotions as being something we experience in our head. So in order to "get rid of," "avoid," or "dismiss" our emotions we try to THINK our way out of them. However, experiencing emotion is physical.
Experiencing emotion is physical
So if emotions are physical, having thoughts to change those emotions typically does not get us very far. Avoiding and dismissing with our thoughts, actually leaves us more stuck in the emotion than when we started.
Our bodies speak body language.
Because our bodies experience emotion physically, it can be helpful to soothe our bodies when feeling uncomfortable emotions. Often uncomfortable emotions are labeled as negative, or "bad." However, all emotion is just information that our body is communicating to us. It is our job to pay attention to that cry for help and respond by DOING something. If you are not sure what to do, here are some simple ways to soothe yourself.
Soothe
Research suggests the easiest way to soothe our bodies is movement.
TIPP survival strategies can be helpful to soothe
The soothing that you needed when you were a child
Movement
Research suggests that the most effective way to get the body out of fight or flight is movement. That is what our bodies are telling us needs to happen. If you have the fear in your body that tells you "I am being attacked right now." What do you do when you are being attacked? You move!
For some exercise can be triggering in itself, lets not make it worse. Is there a way that you can find movement that is joyful? For me, it is dancing. I am NOT a good dancer, never have been. However, I enjoy moving my body to music. Dancing in the kitchen while cooking? Double soothing because cooking is an activity that I (typically) enjoy.
TIPP Survival Strategies
TIPP stands for:
Temperature change
Intense exercise
Paced breathing
Progressive Muscle relaxation
Temperature change can stimulate the vagus nerve which is the main nerve that soothes the para-sympathetic nervous systems. Here are some suggestions for changing temperature:
Cold shower
ice water on face
holding an ice cube
putting an ice pack on your forehead
holding a hot cup of tea
going outside (if the outdoor temp is different than inside)
Intense exercise, we already talked about movement. Here are some ways to raise your heart rate:
Walking
Dancing
Biking
Weight Training
Running
Squats
Jumping jacks
Push-ups
Yard work
Paced Breathing can be a tricky one. Sometimes breathing, just like exercise, can be triggering. Here are some suggestions to assist in breathing,
Follow a 4,6,8 breathing technique. Breathe in for 4sec, hold for 6, breathe out for 8.
The goal is to have the breathing out longer than the breathing in, because this signals to the body a "sigh of relief."
Blowing bubbles or blowing on a pinwheel can be a fun and helpful way to see your breath visually leave your body. My suggestion is to blow until your center contracts, then see if you can blow anymore. Then slowly intake breath.
Singing to your favorite song can also be a helpful way to notice your breathing. Sing out until you run out of breath, then inhale slowly enough so that your breath does not interrupt the song.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation(PMR) is a helpful way to help soothe and relax your body without intense exercise.
Progressive muscle relaxation is when you methodically go through every body part, tense or clench as hard as you can and then relax.
soften your gaze, or close your eyes if you feel safe to do so.
Start with your toes. Clench your toes for 10 seconds. Keep breathing. then release.
Move to your calves, then thighs, then butt, then abs, then chest, arms, shoulders, neck, jaw, and ending with eyes.
Feel free to include or exclude parts of the body as you feel comfortable. Sometimes it is helpful to identify the most tense part of the body and starting there.
Soothing your childhood need
This can be a helpful exercise to many. Think about your 5-year-old self, what did he/she/they need? Maybe it is something your primary care giver was able to give you, and it was soothing to you. Maybe it something you WISH was given to you, but wasn't. Some examples are:
Sing yourself a lullaby
Read yourself a story
Comforting touch- Stroke forehead, tickle arm gently, etc.
Brush or play with hair
Rock yourself gently side to side
Hug yourself, or wrap yourself in a huge blanket
One way to practice this is to, every night before bed ask your self/younger self what you need, and then do what feels like the most soothing thing. Making a habit out of asking yourself and listening to your body will help this strategy to be more effective over time. So even if you are not feeling anxious or intense emotions, practice soothing so that these skills will be readily available when you need them.
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