Internal Family Systems(IFS), Neuroplasticity, and Attachment With Dr. Frank Anderson
There couldn't be a podcast topic that could be more exciting and relevant to how I do therapy.
If you want a thorough and accessible description of IFS related to trauma, attachment, and neuroscience start here.
This is a good episode for clients or for therapists. It is a bit heady, but still can be accessed and understood by those that do not have a training in these topics, because they explain everything pretty thoroughly.
It is an hour and 11min, so maybe a good one to listen to while cleaning the house, or a longer lunch break, or a couple commuting drives. I will say the last twenty minutes is mostly about how to become trained in IFS and more applicable for therapists, but also encourages clients and non-therapists what resources are available.
It is an episode that I will return to over and over again, because there is so much here.
Frank Anderson uses trauma informed language to describe parts work. "If you think of them as little people inside, and one of them starts having a panic attack, approaching it with curiosity saying,
'I'm so glad you're here, tell me more'"
As therapists we move towards the client's parts with curiosity, strengthening the attachment, and modeling to them how to have that same curiosity with themselves. Eventually, the client will be able to have that gentle self compassion and curiosity to move towards their parts that are less desirable (anxiety, depression, anger, fear, etc) and learn from those parts.
If you view those parts as little individuals inside you, (he uses the movie Inside Out to illustrate),
and recognize the best way to soothe another person is to hear, understand, and offer comfort, not to approach with critical, judgmental and harsh language.
This was his favorite quote from his book, because he found it to be true and applicable:
"Trauma blocks love, love heals trauma"
They talk about IFS related to attachment, and attachment being on a spectrum instead of labeled box.
If there was one take away from this episode for me, it was this quote:
"Relationships are healing, but its not the relationships responsibility to heal our wounds, it is OUR responsibility to do a u-turn and do the healing, AND relationships are healing, it is both.
You choose a person because they are interesting, not because you NEED them to heal your attachment wounds."
This content is SO important for couples or anyone with significant relationships in their life (which is everyone). Why do I relate with this so much? Because it is applicable, but I also have experienced this desire to want my significant relationships to heal my attachment wounds, even though I KNOW that it is my responsibility.
Ultimately, I am encouraged and empowered to not only use this content with my clients, but for my own personal work of increasing self compassion and approaching my parts with curiosity. I highly recommend a listen if you want to nerd out about these topics with me.
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