Why is it so Difficult to Make Friends as an Adult?

Making friends is difficult, especially as a working adult. It feels like if you haven't made friends already, how are you going to make them? Where are you going to meet them?

Safe Meadow Counseling is devoted to helping individual adults develop and sustain relational connection. Whether you are in an intimate relationship, or wanting to overcome social anxiety, Safe Meadow uses Emotion Focused Therapy theory and approaches to help individuals and couples pursue the connection that they are craving.

Adult Friendship

Our topic of adult friendship comes from the book, Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make-and Keep-Friends by Marisa G. Franco, PhD. In her chapter, "Taking Initiative" Dr. Franco talks about how difficult it is to make friends, and what we might be able to do about it.

Why is it so Difficult?

It is difficult in our modern age

In the 1800's it was not this difficult to make friends. In our modern age, focused on individualism, there are many factors that compile to decrease friendship connection. Some reasons are: The Industrial Age, Television, and Social Media.

We live in a society in which it is acceptable to cancel plans with friends for work, but never vice versa.

Even thought connection and friendship is vital for human survival, it has become a low priority in Western society.

Swimming Upstream

So now I know it is not just me, but now what? Dr. Franco talks about taking initiative, which feels like swimming against the current of today's society.

We have to put ourselves out there and try.

Often we feel like, "well friendship will happen organically." It might, but remember, any relationship requires input, pursuit, and taking initiative. A challenge to yourself could be, if you encounter someone that you like, ask for their phone number and follow up. This is not too much, too clingy, or desperate, this is how to make friends. If it is an organic connection and you liked interacting with them, they most likely reciprocate.

Check out Dr. Franco's Book to learn more or

Schedule a session to take the next step towards connection.